Hello everyone,
I am new here, I hope it is OK if I jump straight in with this thread.
I am 28 years old and female. I have been in therapy (for the first time) since early last November. Social anxiety is the major issue for which I am seeking help, however there are accompanying things such as more generalised anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence, lack of focus, lack of motivation, insomnia, etc., that I also want to get help with. From my readings of these fora I gather that this is not an uncommon 'suite' of issues.
Having been three months in therapy with a practitioner of CBT I am becoming very worried and annoyed that I don't feel any different, don't see any changes in myself or my feelings. I am no better in social situations, I have no self-confidence, I still feel like crap a lot of the time, I feel unmotivated and like my life is going nowhere and is pointless. This is how I felt three months ago. The most noticeable difference is a much depleted bank account.
I feel as though the CBT processes do not really help. The in-session stuff and 'homework' I've been given always seem to be really obvious 'tricks' that just don't work on me, if you know what I mean. I am becoming very frustrated with the tasks my therapist gives me. As an example, this week I was asked to write down, in the form of a personal letter, what advice I would give to a (fictional) child of mine who was in the same position as me and asked me for help.
I am finding this exercise almost impossible. It is very frustrating for me, I feel silly doing it and I feel somewhat patronised by the apparent gimmick of the exercise. The aim seems to be that I will write up a bunch of sympathetic, rational advice (which will suddenly be really easy because it's for someone else rather than myself) and then I'll be able to look at it and go 'hey, this actually applies to my situation, what do you know, I knew the answers all along, hurrah!'. But the thing is I have tried this. I have tried just talking to myself rationally about my problems. I have tried telling myself there is no reason to be scared of people. I have tried telling myself that I actually can do things I think I can't. I have tried feeding myself a bunch of platitudes. Anything I could possibly write in this 'letter' would be something I have tried telling myself and that hasn't worked. If it worked, I wouldn't be in therapy. It is not that simple. I have not been able to do the exercise and I cannot see the point.
I am supposed to have done this this week and I have to go in and see her tomorrow. I am thinking of just going in and saying I think this exercise is woefully simplistic and unhelpful, saying I don't feel CBT is helping me at all and I might as well save my money.
On top of this I don't feel as though my therapist is giving me anything I really want. For instance, I have said that I have had problems sticking with an interest/career. I have drastically changed life/career directions 5-6 times in the last decade or so and I am sick of doing it. I want to be able to stick with something at least long enough to become competent but I seem incapable of this. I always lose interest and go off in another direction. I want to improve my long-term focus but she does not seem to want to acknowledge this as a valid goal. Our conversations about this consist largely of her trying to convince me that I should accept my lack of consistency. But that is simply not how I want to live my life. I accept that I will never be perfect, but why should't I want to improve somewhat? I feel like my self-confidence would improve if I could develop enough focus to become good at something. I really want her to help me get better at this and if she won't, why am I paying her?
But mostly it is the CBT itself. I feel like the exercises are nothing more than elaborate versions of things I have already tried on myself.
Is it common to feel like this about CBT? Is it just not right for me? Should I just quit?
So sorry for the massive post - I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.
I am new here, I hope it is OK if I jump straight in with this thread.
I am 28 years old and female. I have been in therapy (for the first time) since early last November. Social anxiety is the major issue for which I am seeking help, however there are accompanying things such as more generalised anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence, lack of focus, lack of motivation, insomnia, etc., that I also want to get help with. From my readings of these fora I gather that this is not an uncommon 'suite' of issues.
Having been three months in therapy with a practitioner of CBT I am becoming very worried and annoyed that I don't feel any different, don't see any changes in myself or my feelings. I am no better in social situations, I have no self-confidence, I still feel like crap a lot of the time, I feel unmotivated and like my life is going nowhere and is pointless. This is how I felt three months ago. The most noticeable difference is a much depleted bank account.
I feel as though the CBT processes do not really help. The in-session stuff and 'homework' I've been given always seem to be really obvious 'tricks' that just don't work on me, if you know what I mean. I am becoming very frustrated with the tasks my therapist gives me. As an example, this week I was asked to write down, in the form of a personal letter, what advice I would give to a (fictional) child of mine who was in the same position as me and asked me for help.
I am finding this exercise almost impossible. It is very frustrating for me, I feel silly doing it and I feel somewhat patronised by the apparent gimmick of the exercise. The aim seems to be that I will write up a bunch of sympathetic, rational advice (which will suddenly be really easy because it's for someone else rather than myself) and then I'll be able to look at it and go 'hey, this actually applies to my situation, what do you know, I knew the answers all along, hurrah!'. But the thing is I have tried this. I have tried just talking to myself rationally about my problems. I have tried telling myself there is no reason to be scared of people. I have tried telling myself that I actually can do things I think I can't. I have tried feeding myself a bunch of platitudes. Anything I could possibly write in this 'letter' would be something I have tried telling myself and that hasn't worked. If it worked, I wouldn't be in therapy. It is not that simple. I have not been able to do the exercise and I cannot see the point.
I am supposed to have done this this week and I have to go in and see her tomorrow. I am thinking of just going in and saying I think this exercise is woefully simplistic and unhelpful, saying I don't feel CBT is helping me at all and I might as well save my money.
On top of this I don't feel as though my therapist is giving me anything I really want. For instance, I have said that I have had problems sticking with an interest/career. I have drastically changed life/career directions 5-6 times in the last decade or so and I am sick of doing it. I want to be able to stick with something at least long enough to become competent but I seem incapable of this. I always lose interest and go off in another direction. I want to improve my long-term focus but she does not seem to want to acknowledge this as a valid goal. Our conversations about this consist largely of her trying to convince me that I should accept my lack of consistency. But that is simply not how I want to live my life. I accept that I will never be perfect, but why should't I want to improve somewhat? I feel like my self-confidence would improve if I could develop enough focus to become good at something. I really want her to help me get better at this and if she won't, why am I paying her?
But mostly it is the CBT itself. I feel like the exercises are nothing more than elaborate versions of things I have already tried on myself.
Is it common to feel like this about CBT? Is it just not right for me? Should I just quit?
So sorry for the massive post - I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f43/huge-doubts-about-cbt-should-i-quit-242674/
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