I’m a 21 year old male who has clinical depression, I have been depressed for as long as I can remember! One of the main reasons I feel like this is because of things that happened in my childhood. I have a good group of friends, however I feel I can’t confined in them and feel so lonely, this is the worst I’ve felt in my life and I keep contemplating suicide. I have recently split up from a long term girlfriend which has made things a lot worse for me, I still felt depressed when she was around but knowing that someone else actually cared about me and loved me made my life more bearable. I have zero self-confidence and hate myself, I always think the worst and over think way too much this is one of the main reasons why I split up with my ex-girlfriend so I have been blaming myself for this, the one thing in my life that I actually loved and I pushed her away. I’m not close to my family and barley speak to them although I still live with my dad. My mom has recently been diagnosed with anorexia and is getting worse I honestly don’t think she will be around much longer, this is eating me up inside! We don’t really talk much and I could never bring myself to talk to them, reason I feel like this is because my dad is a horrible drunk and my mom hasn’t really been there for me and like I said before stuff that happened in my childhood I sort of blame them for it.
It seems like such a task to just get on with everyday life and I have recently been struggling to have a full night’s sleep without keep waking up! I am sick of over thinking all the time and thinking the worst! Having zero confidence in myself is taking its toll and I’m so worried that I will never find someone that I could call my girlfriend again and have my own family. Most of my friends have girlfriends and I get left out when they do something, and I see how nice they are together and think I use to have that and because of the way I am I will probably never get the chance to cuddle up to someone again etc.
I am posting this to see if anyone else feels like this or has ever felt like this and wouldn't mind giving me some advice? I have recently been seeing a counsellor but there is a very long waiting list so I am just waiting for that. I am currently going to a class for low moods as well but deep down I’m not sure what I am going to do after that has finished.
Thank you for reading my story and I hope you can help me :(
It seems like such a task to just get on with everyday life and I have recently been struggling to have a full night’s sleep without keep waking up! I am sick of over thinking all the time and thinking the worst! Having zero confidence in myself is taking its toll and I’m so worried that I will never find someone that I could call my girlfriend again and have my own family. Most of my friends have girlfriends and I get left out when they do something, and I see how nice they are together and think I use to have that and because of the way I am I will probably never get the chance to cuddle up to someone again etc.
I am posting this to see if anyone else feels like this or has ever felt like this and wouldn't mind giving me some advice? I have recently been seeing a counsellor but there is a very long waiting list so I am just waiting for that. I am currently going to a class for low moods as well but deep down I’m not sure what I am going to do after that has finished.
Thank you for reading my story and I hope you can help me :(
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/im-so-depressed-and-just-need-some-help-250890/
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