I have this now almost chronic state of cognitive speech impairment. I've had this ever since my depression was still just a little baby bopper and took my first friend.. good times..
It started around 4 years ago. I would have these 'bad day's where as I just didn't feel like myself, I wanted to talk but all my thoughts were so bland and dull. It was usually in the classroom setting. Soon as the bell rang, I'd slowly return to my old self. It's gotten so much worse since then..
Now, there are no 'bad days' there's only my painful existence. I can't remember the last time I've had a 'good day'. I think it was 5-6 months ago since my last one and now I just don't know.
Some symptoms (all i can remember at the moment).
-Inability to speak spontaneously. (all my thoughts felt like point A to B)
-Can't have interesting thoughts (I hate having to listen to myself)
-I would never have anxiety, depression or anhedonia symptoms on my good days.
-I realize how boring I sound in my head and when I talk, but I can't do anything about it.
-less working memory in conversations. Almost impossible to reference things when talking
I hate it so much. It feels like im someone else, but im not content. I know how I should be thinking and talking and have always managed to live up to that standard before this happened. It's like a complete personality change, but I'm the same person only exponentially dumber in all verbal aspects.
What's worse is when im alone, i have to listen to all my painfully boring thoughts until i realize those are my thoughts and I break into crying fits.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/i-cant-figure-out-what-i-have-308793/
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