Hi.
I’m writing this post because I want to find someone who has the same feelings I do. I feel very lonely about the way I feel because every time I try to explain it people don’t get what I’m saying.
So it’s like this.
I’ve always been very familiar with anxiety. I don’t think people see me as a very anxious person, but I really am. Anxiety isn’t something that I get over after sorting my thoughts out. It’s a part of me that I don’t know how to live without, and I assume most of you feel the same way.
I sometimes try to imagine my life without anxiety, but when I do so I feel really empty. It’s almost as I am anxiety. I feel as if there’s nothing behind all that worry and fear.
So what makes me anxious?
It’s like I’m obsessed with this idea that every single person has to know I’m not a bad person and that I can do things well. I plan everything really well and I always think of how to improve myself, and people just don’t realize I’m being really anxious about it. They think it’s something good and that I should be happy about it, I mean, who doesn’t want to improve what they’re doing?
But for me it’s like I have no choice. I can’t relax. I’m constantly thinking everything has to be perfect and if I don’t do things perfectly everybody will look down at me and think I’m a bad person. Leave me by myself.
I don’t always feel afraid of people, but I think I am, because I’m always worried they will judge me.
I don’t know how to make it stop, and it’s really tearing me apart because I can’t keep up with making everything perfect and always being at my best mood and please everyone.
I can’t be content with anything I do. I don’t know when to stop. I don’t know when it’s good enough.
My life is built up like this:
I try to do everything perfectly for a period of time, and I’m not feeling that anxious because things are going fairly good, but then my body just can’t handle all the stress and pressure I put on myself and I collapse, and then the real anxiety begins because I’m too tired to try my best.
I often don’t talk to people at all when it happens because I’m scared they will judge me. I feel worthless and I almost can’t control myself. But then, after a week or so, my energy is restored and I can try to do everything perfectly again, and I kind of don’t remember how hard it was on me not having the energy to be perfect. This just keeps repeating itself.
I think my anxiety has a lot to do with shame. I feel ashamed of myself when I’m not being my very best. I feel like if I don’t do my best, I’m going to be really lazy and don’t do anything with my life (even though I highly doubt that).
I would like to change myself.
I would like to be happy about something I have done.
I would like to trust people to thinking I’m a good person that can take care of things that has to be done.
I would like to relax without feeling really anxious.
Is there anyone who feels the same way?
Does anyone have some tips for me how to handle this in a good way?
I’m tired of hearing “It’ll be over soon. You just have to do your best during this project, and then everything will be fine and you can relax.” Or “Maybe you just need to plan everything a little bit better?”
I just feel that it’s ok to relax at all.
(I'm feeling anxious about posting this, haha)
I’m writing this post because I want to find someone who has the same feelings I do. I feel very lonely about the way I feel because every time I try to explain it people don’t get what I’m saying.
So it’s like this.
I’ve always been very familiar with anxiety. I don’t think people see me as a very anxious person, but I really am. Anxiety isn’t something that I get over after sorting my thoughts out. It’s a part of me that I don’t know how to live without, and I assume most of you feel the same way.
I sometimes try to imagine my life without anxiety, but when I do so I feel really empty. It’s almost as I am anxiety. I feel as if there’s nothing behind all that worry and fear.
So what makes me anxious?
It’s like I’m obsessed with this idea that every single person has to know I’m not a bad person and that I can do things well. I plan everything really well and I always think of how to improve myself, and people just don’t realize I’m being really anxious about it. They think it’s something good and that I should be happy about it, I mean, who doesn’t want to improve what they’re doing?
But for me it’s like I have no choice. I can’t relax. I’m constantly thinking everything has to be perfect and if I don’t do things perfectly everybody will look down at me and think I’m a bad person. Leave me by myself.
I don’t always feel afraid of people, but I think I am, because I’m always worried they will judge me.
I don’t know how to make it stop, and it’s really tearing me apart because I can’t keep up with making everything perfect and always being at my best mood and please everyone.
I can’t be content with anything I do. I don’t know when to stop. I don’t know when it’s good enough.
My life is built up like this:
I try to do everything perfectly for a period of time, and I’m not feeling that anxious because things are going fairly good, but then my body just can’t handle all the stress and pressure I put on myself and I collapse, and then the real anxiety begins because I’m too tired to try my best.
I often don’t talk to people at all when it happens because I’m scared they will judge me. I feel worthless and I almost can’t control myself. But then, after a week or so, my energy is restored and I can try to do everything perfectly again, and I kind of don’t remember how hard it was on me not having the energy to be perfect. This just keeps repeating itself.
I think my anxiety has a lot to do with shame. I feel ashamed of myself when I’m not being my very best. I feel like if I don’t do my best, I’m going to be really lazy and don’t do anything with my life (even though I highly doubt that).
I would like to change myself.
I would like to be happy about something I have done.
I would like to trust people to thinking I’m a good person that can take care of things that has to be done.
I would like to relax without feeling really anxious.
Is there anyone who feels the same way?
Does anyone have some tips for me how to handle this in a good way?
I’m tired of hearing “It’ll be over soon. You just have to do your best during this project, and then everything will be fine and you can relax.” Or “Maybe you just need to plan everything a little bit better?”
I just feel that it’s ok to relax at all.
(I'm feeling anxious about posting this, haha)
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/the-way-i-feel-250858/
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