I can't tell if I am procrastinating because I am lazy or because I'm too anxious to face whatever it is I have to do (which in this case is schoolwork and going to class).
I keep telling myself to "just do it" but "it" involves getting engaged in my life, which involves interacting with people. And though I've come very, very far in my social anxiety recovery (I've gone from running away in social situations and being very awkward all the time to repeatedly participating in social situations and facing people), it's as if there's a reset button because I still get anxious.
Exposure therapy is supposed to re-train your mind so that you realize that your anxiety is irrational, right? But in my case, I still expect a bad outcome, I still fear doing normal things like talking to people or being in a room of people. It's touch-and-go. But I've walked into classrooms and talked to people so many times without any bad stuff happening, so I don't get why I'm still anxious about it. It's like I just keep making the same mistakes...it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and doom, it's like I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself all the time.
I'm going to seek medication at this point. I have to lose my doubt and fear already. And if I have to be drugged just to cope with living, then so be it.
I keep telling myself to "just do it" but "it" involves getting engaged in my life, which involves interacting with people. And though I've come very, very far in my social anxiety recovery (I've gone from running away in social situations and being very awkward all the time to repeatedly participating in social situations and facing people), it's as if there's a reset button because I still get anxious.
Exposure therapy is supposed to re-train your mind so that you realize that your anxiety is irrational, right? But in my case, I still expect a bad outcome, I still fear doing normal things like talking to people or being in a room of people. It's touch-and-go. But I've walked into classrooms and talked to people so many times without any bad stuff happening, so I don't get why I'm still anxious about it. It's like I just keep making the same mistakes...it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and doom, it's like I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself all the time.
I'm going to seek medication at this point. I have to lose my doubt and fear already. And if I have to be drugged just to cope with living, then so be it.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/i-cant-stop-procrastinating-257450/
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