I need help. I'm a 31 year old with the social and emotional development of a 15 year old, while being academically gifted and intelligent. The two sides of me could not me more diametrically opposite. And I'm falling apart at the seams. 10 years or more of being in and out of university with nothing to show for it. 4+ years of retail jobs in between. All the while living at home comfortably by mommy and daddies side where I didn't REALLY have to worry about the scary world. Now I've come to the realisation that I'm fcuked. I'm almost too old to enter the white collar world, experience means everything nowadays, I don't even have my degree yet yet alone experience and at 31 times running out. On the other side there's a world full of crappy menial labour jobs. I'm terrified of the world in some ways. So long as I'm in a structured environment like school or the like with set boundaries and rules I'm not too bad, though even here I've had several small breakdowns with the most recent being not so small. But dealing with the world at large, I don't know. What's the point? Why bother? I just want to curl up in a ball and die. And I've been feeling this way for years now and its getting worse by the day. I'm now exhausted beyond description every day and possibly facing a number of physical ailments as well.



Why keep going?

via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f21/im-a-31-year-old-15-year-old-whos-still-413121/

johalputt Locut0s Social Anxiety Forum

09:47

This to me explains a lot of what it's like to have SA during periods when you are NOT panicking and extremely anxious. I'm talking day to day social interactions that you have learned to get by with.



When I was 5 or 6 I couldn't even look other people in the eye. I talked through my parents a lot of the time. The transition into the real world was extremely extremely tough for me and has left me severely depressed and hopeless.



However over the years I have managed to perfect my day to day social interactions to the point where I actually enjoy talking with people in small talk situations. At school or work etc... I even seem like an extrovert wanting to answer questions and show off.





But it's largely a show and I'm never really comfortable in my own skin. It takes more energy for me to interact socially, even if I enjoy it, and I get quickly exhausted. And let's not even talk about situations that aren't small talk. Relationships, or public speaking I just don't do. I am terrified of presentations and the like too.



I never feel completely relaxed out in the real world with people and feel like I'm always in 1st gear reving away like mad to just do things that other people cruise along smoothly in 5th gear with ease. Sorry for the bad analogy.



I don't see how I'm going to manage to live life like this. It takes too much effort and I'm too exhausted by it all emotionally.



Anyone else feel this way about their SA?

via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f21/not-being-comfortable-in-your-own-skin-314146/

johalputt Locut0s Social Anxiety Forum

07:17