Hi all forum members!
I'm really glad I came across this forum. I have always denied that there might be something wrong with me, but after reading about SA and the stories here I don't feel so alone any more.
I guess that I have always had a touch of SA, but in the recent years it has taken over my personality. In high school I was pretty neutral guy, belonged to my group of friends.
Around my 20th I became a bit "popular" so to say. That's when I started my Bachelors degree. I got rid of the awkward teenager look, was in a great shape and meeting girls were not a problem for me.
In that time I used to be rather social, had a lot of friends and I was a part of 3 large group of friends. Additionally I had at least 5 really close friends that I would work out with, eat at their parents house and all sorts of social things.
Then 3 years ago I met this girl and fell in love. That was then when the SA woke up so to say. I started hanging out less with my friends, I preferred to stay in the comfort zone of just watch a move at home with my girlfriend. But still I went out once in a while, only if one of the close friends really asked me to.
We moved to another country together and started our masters studies. That's when thing got serious with the SA. At first I met a few people and we became "facebook-friends" and went out for drinks maybe a couple of times. But I never contacted them at my own initiative. So naturally the bond became weaker and now one and a half year later I don't really know anyone here except my girlfriend. I hate going through the streets in case I meet someone I know by name, because I really feel bad in conversations.
I avoid to go anywhere unless it is really necessary like going to class or the grocery store. I sit all day at home and study/browse the internet. I feel really isolated and I really need more social exposure because it is starting to effect everything I do. For an example I always do bad in oral exams, only because of I feel uncomfortable, written exams are no problem at all.
I did join a sports club in a sport that I am good at, and in my team I think the guys like me. But that is it, I go there play a game and go home. I can't get myself to ask them to join me for a drink or watch a game on TV. So after a while there I feel like I have missed that "train". They just see me as a guy who just shows up for a game, plays and then minds his own business.
Now I am looking for a solution to my problems, I would like to go to professional therapy but that is not an option money-wise at the moment. I can't talk to my girlfriend about this, and sometimes I want to brake it up with her because I tell my self that she is the root to the problem. Like it is her fault that I stopped going out and have fun. Which might be partly true because she doesn't go out a lot as well and prefers to hang out with me at home. But I'm sure she does not have SA, because she has excellent communication skills, makes friends easily and never looks awkward in any social situation.
Sorry for the biography here but I really felt the need to open myself (over the internet of course!) and I feel like I have taken the first step towards dealing with my problems.
Please comment if you have similar stories
P.S when I say I have SA, it is only self diagnosis, so sorry if I am wrong :)
I'm really glad I came across this forum. I have always denied that there might be something wrong with me, but after reading about SA and the stories here I don't feel so alone any more.
I guess that I have always had a touch of SA, but in the recent years it has taken over my personality. In high school I was pretty neutral guy, belonged to my group of friends.
Around my 20th I became a bit "popular" so to say. That's when I started my Bachelors degree. I got rid of the awkward teenager look, was in a great shape and meeting girls were not a problem for me.
In that time I used to be rather social, had a lot of friends and I was a part of 3 large group of friends. Additionally I had at least 5 really close friends that I would work out with, eat at their parents house and all sorts of social things.
Then 3 years ago I met this girl and fell in love. That was then when the SA woke up so to say. I started hanging out less with my friends, I preferred to stay in the comfort zone of just watch a move at home with my girlfriend. But still I went out once in a while, only if one of the close friends really asked me to.
We moved to another country together and started our masters studies. That's when thing got serious with the SA. At first I met a few people and we became "facebook-friends" and went out for drinks maybe a couple of times. But I never contacted them at my own initiative. So naturally the bond became weaker and now one and a half year later I don't really know anyone here except my girlfriend. I hate going through the streets in case I meet someone I know by name, because I really feel bad in conversations.
I avoid to go anywhere unless it is really necessary like going to class or the grocery store. I sit all day at home and study/browse the internet. I feel really isolated and I really need more social exposure because it is starting to effect everything I do. For an example I always do bad in oral exams, only because of I feel uncomfortable, written exams are no problem at all.
I did join a sports club in a sport that I am good at, and in my team I think the guys like me. But that is it, I go there play a game and go home. I can't get myself to ask them to join me for a drink or watch a game on TV. So after a while there I feel like I have missed that "train". They just see me as a guy who just shows up for a game, plays and then minds his own business.
Now I am looking for a solution to my problems, I would like to go to professional therapy but that is not an option money-wise at the moment. I can't talk to my girlfriend about this, and sometimes I want to brake it up with her because I tell my self that she is the root to the problem. Like it is her fault that I stopped going out and have fun. Which might be partly true because she doesn't go out a lot as well and prefers to hang out with me at home. But I'm sure she does not have SA, because she has excellent communication skills, makes friends easily and never looks awkward in any social situation.
Sorry for the biography here but I really felt the need to open myself (over the internet of course!) and I feel like I have taken the first step towards dealing with my problems.
Please comment if you have similar stories
P.S when I say I have SA, it is only self diagnosis, so sorry if I am wrong :)
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/my-first-step-292106/
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