I have an extremely apathetic, misanthropic, cynical personality, and avoidance personality and a nihilistic view of the world. I just don't care. But bare in mind that this is how I think, I may be nihilistic, and uncaring to myself, but I'm rarely mean to people or rude. The few times I have been actually made me feel guilty. I have gotten to the point of 'fed up' and lashed out, but it's something that is very rare. I have some emotions, as death really triggers me. I care about people, I just can't work up physical energy to show it. General feelings of malaise such as fatigue and weakness, dizziness, restless loss of appetite. ect. ect. ect...
I hate looking at people when I talk to them, I feel like they are better than me. Everybody always has something to talk about and dumbass me can't come up with anything to care about or say so I keep my mouth shut. I don't have many friends (big surprise) and the ones I do have lives quite a ways.
People try to talk to me, and I try not to come off as 'better then' , but honestly can't get out off the mind set "I don't care" and or "go away" , even if they are trying to help me. I don't care about my health problems, (physical and mental), I don't really care to 'take care of myself' (showering / grooming is such a chore). I eat once a day just because of the fact I don't want to get out of bed so much of the day.
Nothing matter. Sometimes even anxiety is gone I'm so numb. Here is an example; I could lay in-front of a train track all day waiting for a train to come by 'worry free' and when it comes.... just lay their --- that sort of 'feeling'. I hope that doesn't sound dramatic, just trying to give an example.
I have emotional outburst between these apathy episodes and cycle being really sensitive , I can't show true emotions ever to people and constantly shutting them out. Consequently my antics burning out so many bridges.
I hate looking at people when I talk to them, I feel like they are better than me. Everybody always has something to talk about and dumbass me can't come up with anything to care about or say so I keep my mouth shut. I don't have many friends (big surprise) and the ones I do have lives quite a ways.
People try to talk to me, and I try not to come off as 'better then' , but honestly can't get out off the mind set "I don't care" and or "go away" , even if they are trying to help me. I don't care about my health problems, (physical and mental), I don't really care to 'take care of myself' (showering / grooming is such a chore). I eat once a day just because of the fact I don't want to get out of bed so much of the day.
Nothing matter. Sometimes even anxiety is gone I'm so numb. Here is an example; I could lay in-front of a train track all day waiting for a train to come by 'worry free' and when it comes.... just lay their --- that sort of 'feeling'. I hope that doesn't sound dramatic, just trying to give an example.
I have emotional outburst between these apathy episodes and cycle being really sensitive , I can't show true emotions ever to people and constantly shutting them out. Consequently my antics burning out so many bridges.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/how-do-you-deal-with-apathy-239370/
0 comments:
Post a Comment