Hey guys and gals,
I have read some of the posts here and it looks like I share some of the common traits associated with SAS - but others, possibly not. I am just looking to get what my issues are out of my head and onto some kind of medium and would be grateful for any advice you may have. I was bullied pretty badly in high school (didn't help that I wasn't a big guy) which coincided with the start of a five year weed addiction. I stopped smoking about three years ago, and have noticed a lot of the following since:
- I have a general dislike for people. I have no interest in meeting new people or talking to people I don't know and like. This leads me to avoiding people, and I get extremely annoyed and frustrated when I am in the presence of people when they do not need to be near me - Eg. If I am on a train and the entire train carriage is empty, someone will always seem to come and sit directly behind/in front or next to me. This makes my blood boil and I feel like lashing out at them for it and also makes me think they are doing it on purpose just to annoy me. I constantly feel like I am being stared at, judged and people are trying to annoy me to get a reaction from me which would result in me embarrassing myself.
- I have a short temper and my girlfriend has said that I am the most intolerant person she knows. If someone just stares at me or bumps me when they walk past, I get all worked up and start shaking while I imagine punching them repeatedly in the face. In general, I do not have much compassion for people (except the elderly, disabled and children) and feel like I am an outcast in society for feeling this way.
- As a result of my temper, when I drink, I am more social and in a generally happier mood (I guess it takes the focus off the negativity) but if someone is looking for trouble with someone I am with or myself, I seize the opportunity to take the anger out (physically and verbally) on them as I - at the time - think they are someone I feel deserves it.
- I do not cope well with criticism - I will generally feel upset and mildly pissed off. This usually makes me question my ability in all aspects of my life, regardless of whether the criticism was professional or personal - I believe this is related to the fact that I am frustrated at myself as I know I am not the happy, best version of myself that I want to be.
I think that from the above, the two issues that I am always consciously aware of are my anger and my self-esteem. I will be taking up boxing again (previously boxed for four years a long time ago) to help with the anger release, but am not sure how to deal with my self-esteem. I have tried the whole "fake it 'til you make it" but it doesn't really seem to work, and requires such an effort that it throws me off in other aspects of my life. I know that my anger is a lot higher than what is deemed as "normal" and I am looking into anger management to help cope with it (and hopefully reduce it!).
Anyway, thanks for your time reading my dribble.
Cheers.
I have read some of the posts here and it looks like I share some of the common traits associated with SAS - but others, possibly not. I am just looking to get what my issues are out of my head and onto some kind of medium and would be grateful for any advice you may have. I was bullied pretty badly in high school (didn't help that I wasn't a big guy) which coincided with the start of a five year weed addiction. I stopped smoking about three years ago, and have noticed a lot of the following since:
- I have a general dislike for people. I have no interest in meeting new people or talking to people I don't know and like. This leads me to avoiding people, and I get extremely annoyed and frustrated when I am in the presence of people when they do not need to be near me - Eg. If I am on a train and the entire train carriage is empty, someone will always seem to come and sit directly behind/in front or next to me. This makes my blood boil and I feel like lashing out at them for it and also makes me think they are doing it on purpose just to annoy me. I constantly feel like I am being stared at, judged and people are trying to annoy me to get a reaction from me which would result in me embarrassing myself.
- I have a short temper and my girlfriend has said that I am the most intolerant person she knows. If someone just stares at me or bumps me when they walk past, I get all worked up and start shaking while I imagine punching them repeatedly in the face. In general, I do not have much compassion for people (except the elderly, disabled and children) and feel like I am an outcast in society for feeling this way.
- As a result of my temper, when I drink, I am more social and in a generally happier mood (I guess it takes the focus off the negativity) but if someone is looking for trouble with someone I am with or myself, I seize the opportunity to take the anger out (physically and verbally) on them as I - at the time - think they are someone I feel deserves it.
- I do not cope well with criticism - I will generally feel upset and mildly pissed off. This usually makes me question my ability in all aspects of my life, regardless of whether the criticism was professional or personal - I believe this is related to the fact that I am frustrated at myself as I know I am not the happy, best version of myself that I want to be.
I think that from the above, the two issues that I am always consciously aware of are my anger and my self-esteem. I will be taking up boxing again (previously boxed for four years a long time ago) to help with the anger release, but am not sure how to deal with my self-esteem. I have tried the whole "fake it 'til you make it" but it doesn't really seem to work, and requires such an effort that it throws me off in other aspects of my life. I know that my anger is a lot higher than what is deemed as "normal" and I am looking into anger management to help cope with it (and hopefully reduce it!).
Anyway, thanks for your time reading my dribble.
Cheers.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/looking-for-some-advice-239394/
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