Hi. I'm Stefan. I post videos on YouTube under the name FireYourDoctor so the majority of the text below will be uploaded in a second if you'd prefer to watch that... But I need help!!
I'm aware this is a forum for other social anxiety sufferers, so God knows if there's anyone out there who can help me, but you never know.
I'll keep this brief.
My last job was in a bar/restaurant (an American Diner) and I 'lost' the job at the start of this year. I feel 100% this is because of my S.A (and Depression/Fatigue). I'd been there 3 months and you are given a 90 day trial which determines if they will keep you on.
It was really horrible. It got incredibly busy and I usually had to work weekends. The whole thing drained me of energy because my mind was constantly thinking 'SH*T... THIS IS TERRIFYING!!'
I'm currently nearly 23, male and studying part-time at College.
I've been dealing with Social Anxiety for years, following treatment with the drug Roaccutane (for Acne).
I need an income for my Car and, well, everything else you have to afford in this life. So when I saw there weren't many jobs to apply for, and I wasn't hearing back, I started applying for anything I might be considered for.
Leads me on to this...
I went for a job interview 2 weeks ago at a very well-respected 4-star hotel/restaurant branch. The building is Century's old and very posh. I find this incredibly intimidating and the morning leading up to the interview made me worry like crazy. I didn't prepare because I've been on a few interviews now and guessed what they might ask.
When I got there, I awkwardly told the receptionist I was there for a job interview and sat with some other interviewees.
Cut ahead, and a couple of days later I'm offered the job.
I realise I have to take it because it could be ages until I get another interview, let alone an offer.
Today was my induction/training day.
Myself and a girl who's been hired to work full-time for the bar were given forms to fill out, told about the role and sent on a scavenger hunt (which was quite fun)... But the whole time all I could think was 'What am I getting myself in to?! The last place was a nightmare and the pressure is so much higher here.'
The job will involve working weekends mostly by the sound of it (I'm on a zero hour contract)... I was told the bar can be open until the early hours of the morning because guests have a right to stay there as long as you like. But typically you finish 'early enough': 2am.
What the ****?
I get tired at 10pm. How would I manage until 2am, or later?
I won't stretch this on.. You get the jist.
I felt suicidal yesterday and today because I know I can't back out, and I know it'll be another disaster.
I've informed myself well enough about this disorder, but I can't escape it's grasp. I have the book 'Feeling Good' and the Audio Programme by Dr Thomas Richards (which seems very slow and dull tbh). I've read a good book called 'A life at last' which basically says to accept the feelings and not try to put on an act, but still I feel like I'm waiting to be slaughtered. It's going to be crazy busy here, and I'll also have to take drinks out and pour them if the customers want me to... Pouring tea while they watch me.. OMG, how!? I'm technically a food/beverage assistant so I will be waiting on tables too.
ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT!
I start next week and will get my 1st week's shift times in the next couple of hours.
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! :idea
I'm aware this is a forum for other social anxiety sufferers, so God knows if there's anyone out there who can help me, but you never know.
I'll keep this brief.
My last job was in a bar/restaurant (an American Diner) and I 'lost' the job at the start of this year. I feel 100% this is because of my S.A (and Depression/Fatigue). I'd been there 3 months and you are given a 90 day trial which determines if they will keep you on.
It was really horrible. It got incredibly busy and I usually had to work weekends. The whole thing drained me of energy because my mind was constantly thinking 'SH*T... THIS IS TERRIFYING!!'
I'm currently nearly 23, male and studying part-time at College.
I've been dealing with Social Anxiety for years, following treatment with the drug Roaccutane (for Acne).
I need an income for my Car and, well, everything else you have to afford in this life. So when I saw there weren't many jobs to apply for, and I wasn't hearing back, I started applying for anything I might be considered for.
Leads me on to this...
I went for a job interview 2 weeks ago at a very well-respected 4-star hotel/restaurant branch. The building is Century's old and very posh. I find this incredibly intimidating and the morning leading up to the interview made me worry like crazy. I didn't prepare because I've been on a few interviews now and guessed what they might ask.
When I got there, I awkwardly told the receptionist I was there for a job interview and sat with some other interviewees.
Cut ahead, and a couple of days later I'm offered the job.
I realise I have to take it because it could be ages until I get another interview, let alone an offer.
Today was my induction/training day.
Myself and a girl who's been hired to work full-time for the bar were given forms to fill out, told about the role and sent on a scavenger hunt (which was quite fun)... But the whole time all I could think was 'What am I getting myself in to?! The last place was a nightmare and the pressure is so much higher here.'
The job will involve working weekends mostly by the sound of it (I'm on a zero hour contract)... I was told the bar can be open until the early hours of the morning because guests have a right to stay there as long as you like. But typically you finish 'early enough': 2am.
What the ****?
I get tired at 10pm. How would I manage until 2am, or later?
I won't stretch this on.. You get the jist.
I felt suicidal yesterday and today because I know I can't back out, and I know it'll be another disaster.
I've informed myself well enough about this disorder, but I can't escape it's grasp. I have the book 'Feeling Good' and the Audio Programme by Dr Thomas Richards (which seems very slow and dull tbh). I've read a good book called 'A life at last' which basically says to accept the feelings and not try to put on an act, but still I feel like I'm waiting to be slaughtered. It's going to be crazy busy here, and I'll also have to take drinks out and pour them if the customers want me to... Pouring tea while they watch me.. OMG, how!? I'm technically a food/beverage assistant so I will be waiting on tables too.
ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT!
I start next week and will get my 1st week's shift times in the next couple of hours.
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! :idea
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/im-about-to-face-hell-help-me-329209/
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment