Hi everyone, I'm a new user here. I've had social anxiety for most of my life, probably because I was bullied throughout primary school but also partly because I think it is just my natural disposition to be shy. In reality, I actually love talking to people and I am very opinionated, but when it comes to meeting new people and group situations I can be crippled by nerves.
I've noticed for pretty much all my life that whenever I'm in a group of people I don't know very well and I try to say something, often times I am simply ignored. I find it so strange because I am sure it's not possible that no one heard me and it's not as if I never say anything that is interesting. It is as if there is something about me which makes people simply feel like they should not pay attention, like I don't have a commanding presence. I don't want to be a leader or an attention seeker, but I just feel embarrassed when I say something and people ignore me. It makes me not want to talk in front of people. And it's especially bad in group interviews, which is something I have been facing a lot lately since I graduate university and I am unemployed. In fact, I have been told by two different companies (Nando's and a telephone charity fundraisers) that I was 'too shy' and 'didn't contribute enough to the group' during these kind of interviews. But I did TRY to contribute and every time I said anything someone just talked straight over me and the group ignored me. It's funny because I feel like the interviewers should be marking those people down as well because in a customer service situation it is important to not be too bossy and to be a good listener. But it seems that these days employers only want the people who talk the loudest.
Does anyone else have this problem? Has anyone overcome this problem? Any tips would be great as I have another interview on Monday and I am absolutely nervous and I don't want to let myself down again because of this problem.
I've noticed for pretty much all my life that whenever I'm in a group of people I don't know very well and I try to say something, often times I am simply ignored. I find it so strange because I am sure it's not possible that no one heard me and it's not as if I never say anything that is interesting. It is as if there is something about me which makes people simply feel like they should not pay attention, like I don't have a commanding presence. I don't want to be a leader or an attention seeker, but I just feel embarrassed when I say something and people ignore me. It makes me not want to talk in front of people. And it's especially bad in group interviews, which is something I have been facing a lot lately since I graduate university and I am unemployed. In fact, I have been told by two different companies (Nando's and a telephone charity fundraisers) that I was 'too shy' and 'didn't contribute enough to the group' during these kind of interviews. But I did TRY to contribute and every time I said anything someone just talked straight over me and the group ignored me. It's funny because I feel like the interviewers should be marking those people down as well because in a customer service situation it is important to not be too bossy and to be a good listener. But it seems that these days employers only want the people who talk the loudest.
Does anyone else have this problem? Has anyone overcome this problem? Any tips would be great as I have another interview on Monday and I am absolutely nervous and I don't want to let myself down again because of this problem.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/when-you-talk-in-groups-do-people-just-ignore-you-271561/
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