I know this has been posted before, but this has been frustrating me as of lately and I just need to vent.
My parents have been comparing me to successful kids, relatives to a certain degree, or even down to a simple task to someone else's. It's been happening since I first met my other relatives when I was little and I can't stand it anymore because they usually end up in arguments. Sometimes when I argue with my mom about this, she tries to justify her comparison for whatever reason and remains angry for the rest of the day until my dad comes home so both of them can nitpick at every fault I've ever had in my life, even if none of it relates to the original comparison with another.
That's what bothers me the most.
At one point I was taking cello lessons because it's sort of a family staple to play an instrument, until we had to cut back due to financial issues. In the beginning, I was into it. I bought all the books, all the needed equipment to tune the cello, etc, etc. I got really far into the lessons but I mostly wanted to learn so it can become an extra hobby. You know, learn songs here and there.
I don't get any comparisons with my playing, but this is somewhat related to my rant.
They also had issues with my instructor's teaching methods, even though they have no idea how to play a cello themselves. So that's another reason my lessons got cut off. But I really enjoyed the instructor, albeit the apparent problems my parents had. My instructor made it enjoyable to learn though.
Having that out of the way, a month has passed and I was trying to continue playing but my parents start to criticize at my playing as well. Initially, I just tried to dust those small shots off and keep at it but they just keep doing it, telling me that I don't have the passion for this and they're only trying to motivate me.
But instead of motivating me, I feel like they're just making me resent even going to lessons in the first place. And I haven't played since. Now I'm getting this: "You don't know how to play anymore." ....... Anyways...
With my relatives, they're not successful but some of my actions are similar to theirs. I understand they don't want me ending up like them, but I wont as it is all too apparent to me. I even have a slight resentment toward them... And they're good people too.
I always try to keep my mouth shut when arguing about this because there's no reasoning with them in my experience. And it only leads to "Oh we shouldn't even do things for you anymore", "She's so ungrateful", "Why do we even bother", "You have no experience in life, you shouldn't even be talking", etc, etc. You get the point.
Sometimes when I try and get serious about them criticizing me, they take it off as a joke and tease me for it.
My parents have been comparing me to successful kids, relatives to a certain degree, or even down to a simple task to someone else's. It's been happening since I first met my other relatives when I was little and I can't stand it anymore because they usually end up in arguments. Sometimes when I argue with my mom about this, she tries to justify her comparison for whatever reason and remains angry for the rest of the day until my dad comes home so both of them can nitpick at every fault I've ever had in my life, even if none of it relates to the original comparison with another.
That's what bothers me the most.
At one point I was taking cello lessons because it's sort of a family staple to play an instrument, until we had to cut back due to financial issues. In the beginning, I was into it. I bought all the books, all the needed equipment to tune the cello, etc, etc. I got really far into the lessons but I mostly wanted to learn so it can become an extra hobby. You know, learn songs here and there.
I don't get any comparisons with my playing, but this is somewhat related to my rant.
They also had issues with my instructor's teaching methods, even though they have no idea how to play a cello themselves. So that's another reason my lessons got cut off. But I really enjoyed the instructor, albeit the apparent problems my parents had. My instructor made it enjoyable to learn though.
Having that out of the way, a month has passed and I was trying to continue playing but my parents start to criticize at my playing as well. Initially, I just tried to dust those small shots off and keep at it but they just keep doing it, telling me that I don't have the passion for this and they're only trying to motivate me.
But instead of motivating me, I feel like they're just making me resent even going to lessons in the first place. And I haven't played since. Now I'm getting this: "You don't know how to play anymore." ....... Anyways...
With my relatives, they're not successful but some of my actions are similar to theirs. I understand they don't want me ending up like them, but I wont as it is all too apparent to me. I even have a slight resentment toward them... And they're good people too.
I always try to keep my mouth shut when arguing about this because there's no reasoning with them in my experience. And it only leads to "Oh we shouldn't even do things for you anymore", "She's so ungrateful", "Why do we even bother", "You have no experience in life, you shouldn't even be talking", etc, etc. You get the point.
Sometimes when I try and get serious about them criticizing me, they take it off as a joke and tease me for it.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/parents-comparing-me-to-others-329233/
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