Well as the title says I got carried away, I didn't even bring up anything to discuss, I just started typing then I stooped. I"m just rambling on here, I'm not sure if anyone will even read it, but reaching a wide range of people wasn't the point of this thread, I just needed to say this to who ever would listen if anyone did, just saying it to no one was a relief. To get it off my chest. To admit it for the first time its a great feeling, which is weird. I imagine some people would be ashamed to say it, I guess in a way I am, but I think to solve the problem you first must have to address the problem. Now I"m rambling on about rambling on, i'll cut this short, Basically I'm now ready to tackle this problem now, one step at a time.
Step One: Hi, i'm Lachlan( Nessy), nice to meet you
Anyway if you care to read my story = :clap
When I finished Primary school (k-6) and moved onto High school (7-10, Australian education system) my group of friends suddenly changed. My old group of friend that I had had from day one, disbanded, going our separate ways, not out of spite or anything, just happened. All my old friends became really popular, having lots of friends, everyone liked them. Me? I joined the nerdy group, the losers and loners of the school. Now don't get me wrong I like my friends and everything, I am glad I had them. But...............
There were five of us, all guys, some people not many, but occasionally people would pick on us, we weren't hated or anything but people thought we were weird or they wouldn't notice us. Over time my "loser" group of friends fell apart as well when we moved on to college (grade 11-12, Australian education, just remember that). We just drifted off, just like with my old friends. I tried to make new friends, I could have conversations with someone but they never went right, someone would join in and I would slowly be shut out, people just took no notice of me, I was just everyone acquaint, no one really knew me and no really bothered to try, no one cared. When I was with people, I was the punching bag of every group; I was the one everyone playfully teased. I know people do that, I do that, but when everyone does it to you, you feel worthless. I've always felt I’m smart but no else noticed me; I got D and C average, which makes me feel worse. No one ever really expected much out of me. I feel like I have a lot of potential, but every time I try my best I get put down
my 5 original friends, we all feel apart, they had a much easier time. Only 1 of my friends also had Social Anxiety like me, we never discussed it; it was just our silent understanding. And then he was my last good friend, i would talk to him every day and he would talk to me. But then he left he graduated early and took off, he removed himself of Facebook, changed his phone number, even removed himself from PSN.
I felt betrayed, I didn't go to my Formal(Prom) because I had no one to go with, I could sit with my "friends", but we weren't really friends anymore, I didn't want to spend a whole night sitting at a table of 10 with everyone ignoring me. I've now finished school, and doing nothing at all, just sitting around watching YouTube, and work at my job, I’m applying for university next semester but I’m just lonely and bored, I still keep in contact with 2 people, I only have 2 friends and I see them fading out, I don't want to lose my last friends.
My weakest link is Girls. A few years back this one girl made fun of the fact that none of my friends were girls, and every time I talked to a girl she would come out of nowhere and say. "Wow, well done, talking to a girl for once." it was so humiliating. She stooped about after a year. Another girl did a similar technique, when I and my friend with SA were talking just the two of us, she would come over and intrudes on what we were talking about, and she would walk away after humiliating us enough and giggle about it with her friends how she talked to the weirdos.
But anyway after so many insistence with that I find it very hard to talk to girls, I have three sisters who I can talk to find with, I can even talk to their friends, but girls my age, nope. I always feel awkward, I’m so embarrassed.
People just don't seem to like me; they just tease me, and only tease. And it’s so hard to tell people because they don't understand. If I tell guys they say "Toughen up, stop being a p***y, why don't you just talk to people?" GEE thanks, when you put it that way, do they really think it’s that simple. And when I tell girls "awwwwwwwwwww, that's so cute you’re shy" I don't want pity, I want you to understand what I’m going through, I’m not a puppy. Aghh. My family loves me and I love them but they are not the support i need for this issue.
It’s hard, it's really hard.
Step One: Hi, i'm Lachlan( Nessy), nice to meet you
Anyway if you care to read my story = :clap
When I finished Primary school (k-6) and moved onto High school (7-10, Australian education system) my group of friends suddenly changed. My old group of friend that I had had from day one, disbanded, going our separate ways, not out of spite or anything, just happened. All my old friends became really popular, having lots of friends, everyone liked them. Me? I joined the nerdy group, the losers and loners of the school. Now don't get me wrong I like my friends and everything, I am glad I had them. But...............
There were five of us, all guys, some people not many, but occasionally people would pick on us, we weren't hated or anything but people thought we were weird or they wouldn't notice us. Over time my "loser" group of friends fell apart as well when we moved on to college (grade 11-12, Australian education, just remember that). We just drifted off, just like with my old friends. I tried to make new friends, I could have conversations with someone but they never went right, someone would join in and I would slowly be shut out, people just took no notice of me, I was just everyone acquaint, no one really knew me and no really bothered to try, no one cared. When I was with people, I was the punching bag of every group; I was the one everyone playfully teased. I know people do that, I do that, but when everyone does it to you, you feel worthless. I've always felt I’m smart but no else noticed me; I got D and C average, which makes me feel worse. No one ever really expected much out of me. I feel like I have a lot of potential, but every time I try my best I get put down
my 5 original friends, we all feel apart, they had a much easier time. Only 1 of my friends also had Social Anxiety like me, we never discussed it; it was just our silent understanding. And then he was my last good friend, i would talk to him every day and he would talk to me. But then he left he graduated early and took off, he removed himself of Facebook, changed his phone number, even removed himself from PSN.
I felt betrayed, I didn't go to my Formal(Prom) because I had no one to go with, I could sit with my "friends", but we weren't really friends anymore, I didn't want to spend a whole night sitting at a table of 10 with everyone ignoring me. I've now finished school, and doing nothing at all, just sitting around watching YouTube, and work at my job, I’m applying for university next semester but I’m just lonely and bored, I still keep in contact with 2 people, I only have 2 friends and I see them fading out, I don't want to lose my last friends.
My weakest link is Girls. A few years back this one girl made fun of the fact that none of my friends were girls, and every time I talked to a girl she would come out of nowhere and say. "Wow, well done, talking to a girl for once." it was so humiliating. She stooped about after a year. Another girl did a similar technique, when I and my friend with SA were talking just the two of us, she would come over and intrudes on what we were talking about, and she would walk away after humiliating us enough and giggle about it with her friends how she talked to the weirdos.
But anyway after so many insistence with that I find it very hard to talk to girls, I have three sisters who I can talk to find with, I can even talk to their friends, but girls my age, nope. I always feel awkward, I’m so embarrassed.
People just don't seem to like me; they just tease me, and only tease. And it’s so hard to tell people because they don't understand. If I tell guys they say "Toughen up, stop being a p***y, why don't you just talk to people?" GEE thanks, when you put it that way, do they really think it’s that simple. And when I tell girls "awwwwwwwwwww, that's so cute you’re shy" I don't want pity, I want you to understand what I’m going through, I’m not a puppy. Aghh. My family loves me and I love them but they are not the support i need for this issue.
It’s hard, it's really hard.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-i-got-carried-away-342465/
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