So I'm 19, I've been out of highschool for a year now. All throughout grade school I went through friends (usually I'd break away from friendships because it'd be a group of 3, and the most outgoing of the 3 of us would usually win the role of leader and 'best friend' of the other person, leaving me out since I did suffer from SAS and depression) and finally found my 'forever' group of friends in grade 12 after getting out of an extremely abusive relationship that I was trapped in for most of highschool with a boyfriend. Me being a pushover introvert didn't have balls to get out of that relationship, that relationship cost me a lot of friendships. Many friends abandoned me instead of trying to help me escape.
So my 'forever' friends I met ended up being a bunch of losers who had no jobs, drank and partied everyday and used my kindness to their advantage. They used me for money, car rides and always talked about me behind my back. I also lost one of my best friends over this group. They turned us against each other and basically were a manipulative, ruthless group.
After I stopped hanging out with them I sought out new friends and tried to reconnect with old friends. I became friends with some people from highschool again and now all they do is call me if they need money, rides or a place to party (I live in a single parent household who's never home and they know this). I am getting so sick of people using me and the only real friend I have is my current boyfriend. He's the only one who knows how depressed and submissive I am to people's demands and the only one who doesn't take advantage of me.
He hates all my friends and tells me I'm better off dumping them and finding new friends. It's hard finding new friends though. It seems like every new person I meet has their best friend or clique and there's no room for me. (Which is ironic cause I'm 4'10) I try making plans and talking to them and I get the 'oh I'm sorry! I'm busy but ill text you tmrw and we'll do something!' Only to never receive that text. I also give up after 15 tries. I tried hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends but chilling with a bunch of guys can get boring and I tried making friends with my boyfriends female best friend but she told him she doesn't like me and that I annoy her. So I stopped trying lol. It just seems like everyone finds an excuse to hate me or realize how generous I am and use me. Tbh I've lost around 5 grande because I lend people money who never pay me back like they promise, drive people around and then never receive gas money or pay people's movie passes or food because they don't have money and then they never get me back next time and never pay me back. It hurts. Also, when I am friends with people I get put down a lot by girls, they'll tell me I look better with makeup on and to tan more, they never take pictures with me and if they do, they post the most unattractive ones (my teeth look yellow, I'm not smiling, my eyes are half shut, I'm cropped out) and it hurts. It makes me feel like I'm not pretty enough to be seen with them. My boyfriend tells me beautiful and guys call me pretty all the time but... Your best friends should make you feel pretty too.
Not everyone in this world is evil and mean, right? It seems like the only one who gets used by people and everyone else has each others back. I get really lonely all the time because when my boyfriends busy I usually stay home or work. I tried making friends with my coworkers but they always say they hate white people and I'm white. :/ seems like my homecity is full *******s.
So my 'forever' friends I met ended up being a bunch of losers who had no jobs, drank and partied everyday and used my kindness to their advantage. They used me for money, car rides and always talked about me behind my back. I also lost one of my best friends over this group. They turned us against each other and basically were a manipulative, ruthless group.
After I stopped hanging out with them I sought out new friends and tried to reconnect with old friends. I became friends with some people from highschool again and now all they do is call me if they need money, rides or a place to party (I live in a single parent household who's never home and they know this). I am getting so sick of people using me and the only real friend I have is my current boyfriend. He's the only one who knows how depressed and submissive I am to people's demands and the only one who doesn't take advantage of me.
He hates all my friends and tells me I'm better off dumping them and finding new friends. It's hard finding new friends though. It seems like every new person I meet has their best friend or clique and there's no room for me. (Which is ironic cause I'm 4'10) I try making plans and talking to them and I get the 'oh I'm sorry! I'm busy but ill text you tmrw and we'll do something!' Only to never receive that text. I also give up after 15 tries. I tried hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends but chilling with a bunch of guys can get boring and I tried making friends with my boyfriends female best friend but she told him she doesn't like me and that I annoy her. So I stopped trying lol. It just seems like everyone finds an excuse to hate me or realize how generous I am and use me. Tbh I've lost around 5 grande because I lend people money who never pay me back like they promise, drive people around and then never receive gas money or pay people's movie passes or food because they don't have money and then they never get me back next time and never pay me back. It hurts. Also, when I am friends with people I get put down a lot by girls, they'll tell me I look better with makeup on and to tan more, they never take pictures with me and if they do, they post the most unattractive ones (my teeth look yellow, I'm not smiling, my eyes are half shut, I'm cropped out) and it hurts. It makes me feel like I'm not pretty enough to be seen with them. My boyfriend tells me beautiful and guys call me pretty all the time but... Your best friends should make you feel pretty too.
Not everyone in this world is evil and mean, right? It seems like the only one who gets used by people and everyone else has each others back. I get really lonely all the time because when my boyfriends busy I usually stay home or work. I tried making friends with my coworkers but they always say they hate white people and I'm white. :/ seems like my homecity is full *******s.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/friends-ignoring-you-even-when-you-try-to-be-extroverted-362305/
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