Hello all.
I'm not exactly sure what I want to say, I guess I just want to vent a little about last night so here goes.
OK so normally I spend every second of the day, outside of work, alone but I tend to get really caught up and depressed and a bit lonely so when I was invited to a rave I said yes, just so I'm doing something positive. Naturally I was pretty nervous but since it was with work people who are really nice I thought it would be OK.
Before I met with everyone I had some alcohol to loosen the nerves. I've found that if I don't then I start the night very quiet and it stays that way all night so yes I had some alcohol and the journey was alright but at the night club I just seem to have lost all enthusiasm. I was dancing with my hands in my pockets, I couldn't be bothered looking at girls, I didn't want to drink any more alcohol because it was too expensive and I just felt really boring. I used to go to night clubs when I was 18 and 19 (before I developed SA) and used to love it. It just seems now I really do live in my own bubble. I get more enjoyment out of watching youtube videos, singing when alone and practicing martial arts than hanging out with people.
Does anyone else just feel like world around them is on a completely different wave length. I much rather visit an old peoples home and have deep conversation with the old folk than talk about shallow subjects such as the new phone which just came out or the latest stuff happening in Coronation Street/East-Enders etc.
I guess I just locked myself away one too many times and disconnected myself from society and modern culture. Meh FML and good day.
I'm not exactly sure what I want to say, I guess I just want to vent a little about last night so here goes.
OK so normally I spend every second of the day, outside of work, alone but I tend to get really caught up and depressed and a bit lonely so when I was invited to a rave I said yes, just so I'm doing something positive. Naturally I was pretty nervous but since it was with work people who are really nice I thought it would be OK.
Before I met with everyone I had some alcohol to loosen the nerves. I've found that if I don't then I start the night very quiet and it stays that way all night so yes I had some alcohol and the journey was alright but at the night club I just seem to have lost all enthusiasm. I was dancing with my hands in my pockets, I couldn't be bothered looking at girls, I didn't want to drink any more alcohol because it was too expensive and I just felt really boring. I used to go to night clubs when I was 18 and 19 (before I developed SA) and used to love it. It just seems now I really do live in my own bubble. I get more enjoyment out of watching youtube videos, singing when alone and practicing martial arts than hanging out with people.
Does anyone else just feel like world around them is on a completely different wave length. I much rather visit an old peoples home and have deep conversation with the old folk than talk about shallow subjects such as the new phone which just came out or the latest stuff happening in Coronation Street/East-Enders etc.
I guess I just locked myself away one too many times and disconnected myself from society and modern culture. Meh FML and good day.
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/night-out-in-leeds-371161/
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment