Life is the worst enemy ever

Facebook is one of those sites that fuels my negativity cuz of all my great friends that I moved from.They are doing really well. They have everything going for them. I see their posts and pics. Gfs and social circles...Its depressing cuz Im a failure at school. Have lost all my friends...I dont even know who I am. Im confused with myself.Which makes me more depressed and anxious as hell. I could go on and on really. My life is pointless. Somedays I just want to end my life. My family..well,they are all delusional and unsupportive. My mom is psychotic and my dad is abusive and beats her sometimes. My dad comes n goes while i have a burden of a family bringing me further down. They cant even help me out even just a little. I used to be respected and stuff and now...I deal with negativity and bs..Not gonna lie,thoughts of homicide and suicide crossed my mind a few times but I never made it reality. idk,I have some hope i guess. I have a strong will? idk. I let addictions consume me most of the time.I havent left my room in months.So the depression and fears piled up on top of eachother..I sorta just gave up on it all. I just lay on my bed,surf the boring net,play video games,etc..No socializing whatsoever. I cant even leave the house as i just said earlier.I find everyone untrustworthy. Everyone in my life seems like they are bullsh*tting me and they probably are..Words hurt. In middle school I used to get into a ton of fights cuz guys thought they were better than me. I proved them wrong.Then in grade 9 I was getting somewhere. I was actually labeled as the "cool" guy. I had a ton of girls waiting to date me. I had a great group of friends..a best friend who had my back all throughout middleschool. A partner in crime you could say. He helped man me up a bit and hold my own.And i helped him do the same. We were both making it big in highschool. 9th grade anyway. My depression and SA hit me once I had an unexpected move to a different country.(I was in Toronto before I moved,I miss it so much it kills me)I wont reveal where I moved yet.(Ill probably continue this story more in detail later...) I had no say in this move and my dad and mom didnt even TELL me I was moving. They said,"We're gonna on vacation to ***** soon." How am i supposed to react from that..All I said is"sure",and we packed up..Once we got to the place my dad rambles on his usual bs..this time with a twist.he said,"well,we are going to stay here for a few years" I was already feeling depressed and homesick before he said this..I went into an extremely aggressive state. I dont even know what happened clearly..All I can say is I havent been the same since.Well, my life DOES get better from there though. I meet good friends,my anxiety ruined it with those girls though.BUT my life gets worse again...My friends leave town and move away to Europe,I get some ugly skin breakouts and people dont look at me the same.I probably need braces too cuz of my uncomfortable jaw which adds to my anxiety and depression. Idk,should I fight? I hate this fate. Is the only way out to shoot myself in the skull? I probably wont do it cuz I still believe I can change this sh*t. I bet you dont fully understand because I left out a few things but as i said before..I will save it for another thread or you can pm me to hear more of this bs life has shot at me.So yea..Life is my enemy.For giving me a limiting family.For taking me away from greatness.For everything. I cant cry at all.No tears come out. Is it cuz Im a guy that I cant cry? Im flooded with this unbearable emotion sometimes....Ive rambled on enough.I would like to hear your thoughts on this... ????????

via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/life-is-the-worst-enemy-ever-382497/