I am a male, 21 (22 in June), and have absolutely no social life whatsoever. I have been more or less a loner since middle school and ever since I have had only acquaintances and work friends with whom I exchange conversation, but nothing even close to a true friend, let alone a best friend.
My attempts at making a meaningful relationship with a woman have also always ended in defeat and humiliation. Have only had 1 girlfriend, and this was someone who continually used and abused me for a period of 2 years or so before she got tired of me and found something better.
Despite all this, I do not believe myself to be depressed however. I have, over recently years/months, grown to realize that this could be my true nature in life, alone and lonely, and have put forward great effort into accepting this role in an attempt to somehow finally be happy with who I am.
Every time I think I have finally made it; that I can be alone and not feel bad about myself I suddenly get reminded by society, by the sights and sounds of the world of everything I am missing out on, and everything I will never have.
I cannot change who I am, that is, be more outgoing, lose weight, become funny or intelligent, interest people...If I could I would have done so long ago. I am just seeking an answer to my silent suffering, a way to live a fulfilling life entirely in solitude and not covet social life.
Can anyone help me?
My attempts at making a meaningful relationship with a woman have also always ended in defeat and humiliation. Have only had 1 girlfriend, and this was someone who continually used and abused me for a period of 2 years or so before she got tired of me and found something better.
Despite all this, I do not believe myself to be depressed however. I have, over recently years/months, grown to realize that this could be my true nature in life, alone and lonely, and have put forward great effort into accepting this role in an attempt to somehow finally be happy with who I am.
Every time I think I have finally made it; that I can be alone and not feel bad about myself I suddenly get reminded by society, by the sights and sounds of the world of everything I am missing out on, and everything I will never have.
I cannot change who I am, that is, be more outgoing, lose weight, become funny or intelligent, interest people...If I could I would have done so long ago. I am just seeking an answer to my silent suffering, a way to live a fulfilling life entirely in solitude and not covet social life.
Can anyone help me?
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/this-is-me-413161/
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