Hello and thank you for viewing my thread. For the sake of being anonymous my name is Jelly, I'm a twenty-two year old male who is going to school and working part time. I currently live with my parents but I have plans to move out when I am twenty-three. As for any friendships or lovers I have none of that. I used to but a recent event has destroyed all my confidence :afr. I am seeking support as well as meeting new people with the same anxiety as I do through this website and I hope you can accept me for who I am.
I am enrolled at a community college and am nearing my associates in science next spring. I plan to transfer out to a four year university for accounting after I get my associates. I have no problem going to my class or interacting with people but outside the class room is a different story! I recently met a girl last summer and she brought me out of my shell, though, it came at a price.
The girl I met was a social butterfly. A pretty optimistic and warm girl who saw something in me most people did not. We quickly became study partners in our ethics class and began doing projects outside the classroom even if they did not require collaboration from each other. It was an excuse to hang out and do things together.
During the period of the semester we became really close. We kissed, and one time during studying I fingered her, which led to other things later. We had intercourse but I was not aware she had a boyfriend. She said she was going to dump him and not to worry, so I figured I was in the right or my actions were morally just. So, we continued to have sex a couple months after that. She kept him around Why? I'll never know, but she dumped him eventually and we began becoming closer.
At this point we had been together nearly six months and a shocking discovery turned for the worse. She was diagnosed with Herpes Simplex Virus-Two genitally. Prior to telling me she told me to have a couple drinks before she told me the devastating nears, so I could 'bear it' or I have no idea why she asked me to drink. Regardless, she asked me what I would do stay by her or even still talk to her. I said I would stay by her, because at this point I honestly was in love with her.
I took the news pretty well and I got tested to see my own state. Well, guess what I was exposed too no surprise. I was devastated but at the same time I was content with this situation because I was not alone going through it and we both had each other to support another. She was also my only friend aside from a few people I have associated myself with over the internet. So, where else was I going to go if I wasn't okay with her exposing me?
I stayed by her for a month and then she became really shady. Constantly texting or being on the phone instead of paying attention or wanting to do things with me. She started going through my phone and asking who was texting me and why I had voice mails from this one girl. I became really distraught with her behavior and I asked her what the deal is. After that point she wanted nothing to do with me she became the most un-affectionate human I have ever seen. She was cold and quick to talk back to me if she thought I was being weird or stupid. Even little things like how to properly give the kids apple juice... wtf? Yeah, she had two kids I raised for a year I forgot to mention that part.
So, I got tired of being used. I think I understood how she got exposed to HSV-2 and I was just blind from the get go. I believe she was just a slutty liar with no heart who strung me along. So, here I am now Friendless, Loverless aside from my dearly beloved STD who visits me from time to time. Lovely!!!!! What the hell am I going to do now? I'm screwed....
I only ever get to be around my family now and it's awkward as hell because they know I have this STD and I am really not welcome in my house I am just here until I find my place in twenty-fourteen. My parents are really disappointed in me. I have constantly made the wrong choices and I am obsolete and inferior to my siblings my parents have told me. prior to all this I was home schooled, so I had no friends besides when I turned fifteen I joined the wrong crowd.
I started doing hallucinogens (shrooms,lsd) I did extacy, and I got dependent on weed. I was feeling accepted by the company of all these people who were really a bad example on me but I allowed myself to go down that road. I almost died during that time frame. I disassociated myself with all those people and I am now clean thank god.
But honestly I am so screwed! :| I have an STD and no friends and I will never find a girl to be with now because nobody will want to accept my social anxiety and a sexually transmitted disease... :afr My family doesn't really want me either, so I don't know. Maybe I can be a loner... *sigh* but I really need somebody :(
I am enrolled at a community college and am nearing my associates in science next spring. I plan to transfer out to a four year university for accounting after I get my associates. I have no problem going to my class or interacting with people but outside the class room is a different story! I recently met a girl last summer and she brought me out of my shell, though, it came at a price.
The girl I met was a social butterfly. A pretty optimistic and warm girl who saw something in me most people did not. We quickly became study partners in our ethics class and began doing projects outside the classroom even if they did not require collaboration from each other. It was an excuse to hang out and do things together.
During the period of the semester we became really close. We kissed, and one time during studying I fingered her, which led to other things later. We had intercourse but I was not aware she had a boyfriend. She said she was going to dump him and not to worry, so I figured I was in the right or my actions were morally just. So, we continued to have sex a couple months after that. She kept him around Why? I'll never know, but she dumped him eventually and we began becoming closer.
At this point we had been together nearly six months and a shocking discovery turned for the worse. She was diagnosed with Herpes Simplex Virus-Two genitally. Prior to telling me she told me to have a couple drinks before she told me the devastating nears, so I could 'bear it' or I have no idea why she asked me to drink. Regardless, she asked me what I would do stay by her or even still talk to her. I said I would stay by her, because at this point I honestly was in love with her.
I took the news pretty well and I got tested to see my own state. Well, guess what I was exposed too no surprise. I was devastated but at the same time I was content with this situation because I was not alone going through it and we both had each other to support another. She was also my only friend aside from a few people I have associated myself with over the internet. So, where else was I going to go if I wasn't okay with her exposing me?
I stayed by her for a month and then she became really shady. Constantly texting or being on the phone instead of paying attention or wanting to do things with me. She started going through my phone and asking who was texting me and why I had voice mails from this one girl. I became really distraught with her behavior and I asked her what the deal is. After that point she wanted nothing to do with me she became the most un-affectionate human I have ever seen. She was cold and quick to talk back to me if she thought I was being weird or stupid. Even little things like how to properly give the kids apple juice... wtf? Yeah, she had two kids I raised for a year I forgot to mention that part.
So, I got tired of being used. I think I understood how she got exposed to HSV-2 and I was just blind from the get go. I believe she was just a slutty liar with no heart who strung me along. So, here I am now Friendless, Loverless aside from my dearly beloved STD who visits me from time to time. Lovely!!!!! What the hell am I going to do now? I'm screwed....
I only ever get to be around my family now and it's awkward as hell because they know I have this STD and I am really not welcome in my house I am just here until I find my place in twenty-fourteen. My parents are really disappointed in me. I have constantly made the wrong choices and I am obsolete and inferior to my siblings my parents have told me. prior to all this I was home schooled, so I had no friends besides when I turned fifteen I joined the wrong crowd.
I started doing hallucinogens (shrooms,lsd) I did extacy, and I got dependent on weed. I was feeling accepted by the company of all these people who were really a bad example on me but I allowed myself to go down that road. I almost died during that time frame. I disassociated myself with all those people and I am now clean thank god.
But honestly I am so screwed! :| I have an STD and no friends and I will never find a girl to be with now because nobody will want to accept my social anxiety and a sexually transmitted disease... :afr My family doesn't really want me either, so I don't know. Maybe I can be a loner... *sigh* but I really need somebody :(
via Social Anxiety Forum http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hey-everyone-my-intro-story-399513/
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